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How to deal with insecurities

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Lack of confidence, unable to fit in with peers, feeling of inadequacy or helplessness, the periodic avalanche of negative thoughts, constant worry, self-doubt, stress and lastly, overthinking are all the byproducts of someone who is dealing with insecurity. It is a very common feeling and nearly experienced by all of us at some point or the other in life. Insecurity is often presented by a lack of confidence, uncertainty, and anxiety. 

With insecurity, one is often in doubt about ones worth, abilities, and value as a person. Although the origin of insecurity is unknown, lack of emotional support, highly stressful life experiences, abusive or neglective relationships can be the causes of insecurity. Poor decision-making, self-depreciation and low self-worth, difficulty in building insecurity, mistrust,  and constant stress and anxiety are a few signs of being insecure. 

If not addressed early, insecurity can majorly affect one’s both mental and physical well-being. By identifying the roots of one’s insecurity, a person can successfully minimize its adverse effects. Post which one can find renewed security, evolved relationships, stability, and a stronger sense of self that will eventually carve its way towards happiness. So how can we get rid of insecurity and set ourselves on the path of emotional and mental wellbeing? Well, we have done some research for you. Here are 7 ways to inhibit insecurity.  

1. Accept that you are insecure

It is well said that when you accept a flaw, you are halfway on the path of positive change. Accepting the fact that you are insecure will help you reflect on why you are feeling a particular way. Running away or shunning your insecurities will only make the ill-feeling stronger because you never took out the time to address it. For example, A woman is insecure about her relationship with her husband. She is unable to trust him. By not addressing her feelings, she will just make things worse for her relationship. Instead, she can address her insecurity and have a proper conversation with her husband as to why she cannot trust him.

2. say yes to self-care

Being insecure clearly means being dependent on external factors. It signifies that one is letting the outside factors affect their well-being. If you are dealing with insecurity, make sure you take control of your feelings and not let them get affected by what is happening around you. Take time out for yourself, address your insecure feelings and take efforts to get rid of them in the most efficient way. Invest in self-care when in demeaning situations. For eg: You are refraining from going to your workplace because you are unable to meet the deadline. Instead of giving failed attempts, again and again, reflect on what is keeping you from being your best. Take a dedicated break, do what you love, and come back with a fresh mindset for work again.

3. Conquer negative thoughts: 

An insecure person is one who often deals with a heap of negative thoughts and has no control over them. He or she often finds themselves in the loop of negativity and overthinking. However, it is important to understand that having a negative perspective can adversely impact one’s health, family, career, and almost everything. Thus it is very much essential to conquer these negative thoughts. Consider having a switch within. Whenever you find yourself in the loop of negativity, remind yourself to turn the switch. Think about all the things that you love and start doing it at the moment itself. This will help replenish your mind.

4. Surround yourself with the people you love:

Often when caught up in the endless loop of insecurities, it becomes difficult to help ourselves. In times like this, sitting in isolation can make things worse instead, allow your loved ones to provide that aid needed. If you are having a bad day and can’t help but think of all the insecurities, make sure you surround yourself with the people you love. They could easily help you understand that beating yourself up with unwavering thoughts will only make things worse. Surrounding yourself with the people who love you will easily help you get distracted in the most fruitful way. As they will take efforts to make you feel better in every way possible. 

5. refrain from judging yourself:

Most people end up being insecure because they are too hard on themselves. They always expect everything to be perfect and end up judging themselves for not being able to achieve it. Thus it is important to tell ourselves that perfectionism is impossible to achieve and that it only forces us to judge ourselves for not being able to meet unrealistic expectations. If you are someone who often finds himself or herself being insecure, remind yourself time and again that it’s okay if you couldn’t meet your expectation and choose not to judge yourself for being imperfect.

6. say no to comparisons:

Thanks to social media platforms, we know the ins and outs of everybody’s lives and cannot help but compare our lives to others. As a result, we get insecure over the things that we do not have. No matter how perfect our life is, we always find it insufficient. She got married at the perfect age! He has a perfect family! When will I succeed like her? are sheer examples of how we end up comparing our lives with others.  Not to forget, these comparisons can just get us more and more insecure and can leave us dissatisfied constantly. And so, say no to comparisons. Instead of looking at the drawbacks, concentrate on the positives of your life. Tell yourself time and again that both you and what you have is enough. This will automatically instill a sense of strong belief. 

7. Overcome the limiting beliefs:

I am not capable enough! I can never achieve that! It is too tough for me! I am too young or old for it! I do not deserve that! Are all examples of limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are thoughts that constantly put us in self-doubt and refrain us from being our best selves. People who are insecure are often the ones who are dealing with self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Before they take up any major task they get themselves into the spiral of demotivating beliefs. Hence it is necessary to train our minds to not give in to those limiting beliefs. Every time self-doubt kicks in, tell yourself aloud that “I can”. Make yourself believe that and you are halfway there.

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