Adding that spark to your marriage. A guide.

Waiting for that one text, the constant feeling of butterflies in the stomach and the spark of all the firsts! Finding true love is one adventure all of us want to take. And falling in love is like having a new possession with lots of secrets to discover. It’s something that keeps you excited throughout. However same isn’t the case when we talk about staying in love! Why? Because “till death do us part” is a pretty long time to keep the spark alive, as Opera says. But Don’t worry. It will be a relief for you to know that, according to therapists and relationship experts, it is absolutely okay for a relationship to lose its spark with the passing years. 

It is a given fact that the newness of a relationship doesn’t last forever, and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. While the excitement and novelty may vary, long-term relationships bring along stability and commitment. Ones that go a long way for a healthy relationship. However, the mundaneness of life can strip away the spark of your relationship. In the first stage of love, there’s passion and excitement, but as the relationship evolves, it becomes more about connection and intimacy. So in case you feel like the butterflies have flown away, please don’t worry, as it doesn’t mean that you have lost your love. Know that a long-term relationship waxes and wanes! However, if you are someone who thinks of how to rekindle the spark in your relationship, you are just in the right space. 

Unable to figure out how, though? Well, we are here to help you! We have come up with a few effective ways to add that spark back into your relationship. So let us dive in deeper.

Revisit the start of your relationship

The best thing to do to avoid the fuzzy sensation going away is to revisit the start of your relationship. The place where you first experienced those butterflies. A wonderful place, isn’t it? Why cause this is when both you and your partner are flared up with the best feelings of falling in love, that is, the feelings of desire, infatuation and fantasy. Visit the cafe in which you met for the first time or the place you got married, or just take a walk down the memory lane. Revisiting the initial times will bring back the fresh feelings and also the feelings that you are still two interesting people who love each other.

Bring back the closeness by doing small things like sharing your secrets

The goal is to bring back the intimacy. The closeness that you miss between the two of you. And that can be done by taking small efforts for your partner. Maybe share that one secret with your partner which you didn’t reveal to anybody. This brings in two wonderful things, one that there’s a realization that you have a partner with whom you can share anything and the other that there’s an instant connection that gets build after sharing. With this kind of sharing you are passing on the message of “I trust you” and help establish a strong emotional bond.

Do exciting things together

When the spark feels like fading away, its an ideal time to raise the quotient of adrenaline and endorphins in your relationship. As studies show that it increases attraction. Want to make your heart go pitter patter again? Try doing some exciting things together. And by that we do not mean sky dive ( good if you can) but small things that can prove to be a good escape for mundane things. Like maybe visiting a haunted house together or going for a horror movie, trying a new cuisine on weekend or anything adventurous that interests you both.

Understand the prowess of a sorry and a thank you

Sometimes with each passing day with our partner, we start taking them for granted. We don’t take into notice the little things they do for us to make our lives easy. Not that it affects your partner as much but using general phrases like sorry and thank you can definitely make them feel better. And will give the message that you care for your partner. After all its a fundamental human need that our efforts are noticed and addressed by the people we love.

Take minimal efforts for promising results

Take small efforts to make your partner feel good about themselves. It could be doing the dishes or getting a rose or setting a dinner date. Once a month atleast plan out different things for your partner. Taking these minimal efforts go a long way in maintaining the spark in your relationship. Not only you become appreciative of one another but are also attracted by the efforts taken.

Give each other the right amount of space

It’s a good saying that distance creates desire and anticipation. Latching on to your partner all the time isn’t healthy for a relationship as it kills the longing for each other. Instead, give each other the needed space until they themselves feel like coming back to you. It is true that sometimes we need time away from our partner to miss them and remember all the goodness of the relationship.

Love yourself enough

After being in a long-term relationship, there’s one common issue that most of us face and that is not prioritizing ourselves enough. It becomes hard for us to remember where your partner ends and where you begin. Not only is it unhealthy for your relationship with self but it is a fact that being attracted to someone who has lost his or her autonomy and individual identity is arduous. Fuel yourself first to rekindle the romance in your relationship. Find a hobby, do what you love, spare some time for self-care, and set some personal goals to achieve. The goal is to love yourself and be happy with yourself in order to reflect the same in your relationship.

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