When Arya came for therapy, she was in a miserable state. Her husband had left her for another woman. They had a marriage of 8 years and a child to look after. The father however refrained from taking any responsibility for the child. He fled away with another woman. Arya didnt see this coming and was taken by shock.

A young woman shares her story of infidelity

How we met

I have known Aman since I was 18. We were in the same college and shared a good camaraderie. Both of us were engineers and took our careers very seriously. We came into a relationship in the last year of college. Both of us shared  a great bond and had the milestone of a 4 year long friendship. We helped each other in studies and our interests lied in the same subjects. It was a perfect relationship.

Juggling career and relationship

Post our college we were placed in different companies in different cities. It was difficult to maintain a healthy relationship through long distance but we did. Career was always the top most priority for us and so we juggled our relationship with it somehow. 

Our families knew about our relationship and were supportive of it. Soon when we came of age, both the families started urging us to take the next step and get married. Both of us aced in our careers but in different cities. In order to get married one of us had to move to another city. Aman was in a better position career-wise and so I decided to get displaced. 

After marriage

Both of us got married at the age of 27. We were an ideal couple and got married in the most ideal circumstances. Years went by and we kept dwelling in what we call a happy marriage. We were blessed with a boy who we named Aryan. Both of us kept scaling new heights in our career and were proud of it. 

After a few years, however, Aman got a career opportunity abroad in Singapore. He was brilliant at his work and strived really hard for where he was today. And so I encouraged him to take the opportunity. Aman’s goal was to mark great heights in Singapore and then get settled there with me and Aryan. Staying connected wasn’t a hard task with the internet and smartphones and so Aman took this stride towards new heights.

Getting drifted

For a year, Aman was in Singapore. We had a routine of connecting over phone calls and video calls. However, everytime I discussed of Aryan and I visiting him in Singapore, he would change the subject. We waited for him to pay a visit here in India, but he didn’t. Soon the number of phone and video calls started receding too. I used to get anxious about not having enough of his time. When I complained about it, we used to end up in a fight. 

By this time, Aryan and I were to live with Aman. But I could see it not happening. Concerned about Aman not getting as involved with Aryan, I decided to pay a visit to Singapore. I kept this as a surprise until I was done with the booking. Once I was done, I told this news to Aman. To my surprise, he wasn’t happy but concerned about us visiting him. I got pissed over this behavior and we ended up in an ugly fight. In the heat of the moment, he confessed that he was involved with another woman. 

For a year, Aman was in Singapore. We had a routine of connecting over phone calls and video calls. However, everytime I discussed of Aryan and I visiting him in Singapore, he would change the subject. We waited for him to pay a visit here in India, but he didn’t. Soon the number of phone and video calls started receding too. I used to get anxious about not having enough of his time. When I complained about it, we used to end up in a fight. 

Experience with Infidelity

This news broke me completely. I felt shocked, angry, and helpless and cried until there were no tears to cry. I didn’t have the tab of the days. They went by in me worrying about how I would lead a life as a single mother. Seeing me in this miserable state my sister suggested that I take a counseling session with Renu ma’am at Z-Edge. A counseling session wouldn’t undo what my husband did and so I denied taking the help. 

Days passed by and I was unable to pick myself up for things that I loved. Aryan had started asking questions and now there was a need for me to assemble myself. I realised that I was not able to handle myself and so I thought again about getting aid from counselling. It seemed a fair option and so I agreed upon it. 

Introduction to counseling

I attended the first session with my sister as I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of one on one counselling initially. A fellow counsellor at -Edge had booked our appointment with Renu ma’am. In our first meeting itself I was able to open up and talk about all my insecurities to Renu ma’am. Sharing with her felt like unloading the weight of all my emotions. It was a good experience.

However, Renu ma’am understood in our first meeting itself that I not just needed to express but needed the zeal to get back to life with strong feet. With each counseling session, she instilled in me the confidence to be okay without Aman. She said, “Now is not the time to shed tears,  but to conquer” Renu ma’am reminded me of the career that I was excelling at and the happiness of Aryan which I had to look after. She asked me to drive fuel from these two aspects of my life and not give in to the insecurities of life.

 Finding solace

Today I am in a much better place mentally. Counselling at Z-Edge has helped me grow immensely. If I hadn’t met Renu ma’am at the right time, I would have been in the same bog. This didn’t happen within a fortnight. It was a gradual process but a long lasting one. There are days today when I still feel helpless but with counselling I am able to anchor myself. I am grateful for having gotten the right time of help at the right time. Today  I am at the peak of my career and leading a happy life with Aryan. This was possible only because of the right aid from Z-Edge and Renu ma’am.