Are you wondering why you are single when everyone around you is either getting engaged, married, or having a baby? Do not worry — it’s not just you. If anything can console you, there’s a theory that says the most intelligent ones stay single longer than usual. Now it all makes sense, ain’t it?
On some days, nothing really consoles you when you feel lonely and forlorn. You just need someone to take care of you, talk to you, go out on a drive with, someone who understands your moods, makes you some hot noodles or watches a web series laying on a couch with you. That’s about the companionship and love we crave for! Don’t be guilty of feeling this, it’s very natural.
In today’s dating culture, when there are so many options for everyone, you find yourself left out. You get the right to pick and choose with whom you want to go out. But still, you find yourself scrolling through dating/matrimonial sites, ‘swiping left’, searching for someone daily and starting over like it’s a vicious cycle! Strange but true.
Let’s face it, it does feel a certain way to be single and wait for the special someone for a long time. It does affect your mood. It makes you sad. It makes you lose faith in the concept of love, marriage and ‘happily ever afters’. Living a life like this can be tough when people around you seem happy with their partners. But here is some food for thought that might help you enjoy your ‘singlehood’ while you wait for the right person!
Minimize your checklist
Whether you want to date to marry or to have a relationship, you must know what you are looking for in your partner. Many of us hardly realize the fact that we have unrealistic expectations that don’t make us really happy. What works well is making a checklist of things you want in your partner.
To begin with, jot down the 5 topmost non-negotiable qualities that you want in your partner and then write down 5 ‘good to have’ qualities. While you are at it, make sure you are being nothing but honest. Always check if you, too, are capable of what you are expecting. This way, you are focused on things that are important to have in a person or relationship while side-lining the things that you can make up for.
Know your worth
You might know what you want in your partner but is essential to know your own worth. It’s a human mechanism to undervalue the self. Don’t let that occur to you. Life can be harsh on some days and compel you to think that you’re not enough. Try to detach yourself from such feelings and tell yourself that you deserve every bit of what you want!
Being desperate for love and affection makes you take decisions that are uncalled for. We often compare our situations with other people around us and wish to have a similar life. But rushing into the wrong relationships would never do good! Trust your best version, know that it exists, value that version and let that shine.
Heal and feel
Everyone comes with a piece of emotional baggage from their past. But, carrying it forward into your next relationship will only damage you further. Hence, ask yourself if you have healed from your past, the good and the bad memories, people, and experiences. If your past still haunts you, it is definitely not a good time to enter into a new bond. Sometimes, this unhealed feeling stops you from going ahead even if the right person is there in front of you. You are bound to mess up a good relationship if you enter unhealed.
But what is healing and how to heal yourself? Healing is a long process. You need to realize and remind yourself of how far you have come. It all starts with forgiving yourself first and then the people who have hurt you. Don’t wait for the people to apologize because it might take forever. Instead, know that your heart is big and capable of forgiving everyone. Take some time off alone and know where you stand emotionally. Create your safe space, talk to your near and dear ones, and track your progress often. This will help you feel better. Let go of the grudges step-by-step and that’s the stairway to healing.
Hope is a good thing
The greatest of the things achieved in this world is only because of ‘hope’. Hope has a lot of power and the more you realize it, the more it works for you. Most of us struggle to keep up hope because of the fear of it getting trashed again. It’s true! But that’s when we must recall, “There’s always light at the end of the tunnel”. Whenever you find yourself struggling, to hope and dream again, know that this shall pass soon, and you’ll rise again.
Therefore, never lose hope! Keep manifesting your special someone in your life. Know that ‘your’ person is out there searching for you and it’s just a matter of time.
Be ready!
You never know when you are going to meet the love of your life and how. You never know how the stupid cupid works and catches you off guard! From what we know, the greatest of love stories start at the most unexpected times. So, isn’t it good to always be ready for love?
By being ready, we mean—being emotionally and mentally ready. Ready to accept the changes of your life, ready to feel new emotions, ready to make efforts and ready to work on relationships because yes, it’s a lot of work. For that, you need to boost your confidence. Do whatever it takes to feel good about yourself. Socialize as often as your mental health allows and validate yourself. Who knows where you will have your meet-cute, but it’s going to be worth the wait. After all, staying happily single is the first step towards ‘happily ever after’ with your person.
