“Happily-ever-after” is a much-believed myth by couples these days but it needs spadework. Once you marry your “life partner” you will gradually witness all the highs and lows of the league. There are options like pre-marital counselling services that every couple can opt for before marriage to be on the same page. So before you tie a knot it is very important to explore all these topics before taking the deep dive.
LIFE GOALS- As partners, you would be journeying together in life. Needless to state, therefore, that you must be on the same page where life goals are concerned. You cannot be wanting to go in different and opposite directions if you are choosing o spend lifetime in harmony. So much so that you grow with each other and bring out the best in the other. This becomes possible only when you sail together and not playing tug-of-the-war with each other on where you want to be in life.
FINANCIAL PLANS- Money can be both a very crucial interrogator and a divider. So it is best that all doubts regarding financial goals and needs are addressed. A broad consensus on spending priorities has to be made. . It is important to clear all the doubts regarding the financial goals, total earnings, total expenditures, do they own any debts, any assets, do they have their own house, do they consider going on a movie and having a vacation a necessity or a luxury.
RELATIONSHIP STRUCTURES – Here is the biggest merger of life, wherein not only do you marry one person but embracing each other’s families. If there is any discomfort about any relationship including that of in-laws should be discussed and the dynamics to be well understood. Their expectations and situational limitations should be acceptable to both before a commitment is made to each other.
KIDS AND PARENTING- This can never be a personal decision but a joint one. So if there is no consensus on whether to have a family or not or what is the best way to bring up your child, it can create an irresolvable conflict zone. In Indian scenario today people may be shy of speaking about this but the way we are moving it will soon become imperative to talk about parenting philosophy and duties; including about medical conditions if any.
EXPECTATIONS- Life is not about wishful thinking and rosy dreams. Reality could be very different from what you believe in and it is only prudent to have a reality check before getting married. People quite often believe that their partner will magically turn into their “ideal spouse”. So expectation regarding career, finance, social life, family life, parenting has to be “realistically set” and accept that expectation can be only “realistically met”.